Smiles? At 8am? Terrifying. This blue perky people button or magnet says what your face already does: “Perky people terrify me.” Whether you’re caffeine-deprived, emotionally unavailable, or just allergic to forced cheer, this accessory is perfect for backpacks, cubicles, or passive-aggressive fridge decor. Ideal gift for introverts, grumps, and anyone who’s ever been ambushed by a chipper “Good morning!” Pairs well with emotional unavailability, introvert humor, and morning misery.